This is a funny one.

3 years ago, I was at the gym running on the treadmill for a couple hours. A friend messaged me and said she was just checked into a room at the hospital and was really scared. She said I am having kidney issues. I am in a lot of pain. They think I have a stuck kidney stone. They are going to give me some pain medication. I am really scared. I can’t get ahold of anyone. She gave me her room number and said, I don’t think they will let you in because of all the covid barriers and everything but please come. I need you here.

I got right off the treadmill, jumped in my car, when I got down to the Bellevue Hospital, I was starving from running for 2 hours on the treadmill. I saw a vending machine and bought a package of Oreo Cookies. I tried to call her on the phone, and she didn’t answer. I opened them up as I was walking outside pass the security desk and noticed through the window the security officer had a Star Wars backpack next to him. I round the bend and come in through the automatic doors. I was walking up to him, he said excuse me sir, no visitors allowed. I took one of my Oreo cookies out and waved it in the air and said These are not the droids you are looking for. He started laughing hard and waved me on by.

I got in the Elevator and went up 4 floors. As I was riding in the elevator I started laughing and thought, wow that shit actually worked. As I walked by the next 5 Covid Check points every single time I looked at the person, smiled, held up an Oreo Cookie in the air and nodded my head. Every single person smiled and nodded to me let me walk right past them.

I walked right into her room. She turned and looked at me and said Are you may Angel? I said darling it is me! Andy! She said I knew I had a sexy Angel! You are soooo sexy! Pumped her fist in the air. I said her, Hey! It’s me Andy! She said my Angels name is Andy! Whoohooo! I said Ohhhh you got good dose of pain medication girl. No! It is me! Andy! you told me to come here. She reaches over and grabs my crotch and says said Ohhhhhhhhh it really is you, Andy! I said Hey! Let go! She starts laughing. I said not funny! Are you okay???

The nurse lady came in and my friend said I want you to meet my Angel Andy! Isn’t he sexy??? Look at all of them muscles. I rolled my eyes. The nurse looks at me and said How in the hell did you get in here Angel????? I said Andy! She said Angel Andy! I sighed…. She said, How did you get past all the covid security checks. I pulled an Oreo cookie out of my pocket and said eating cookies. She said what? I said Oreo Cookies and Jedi mind tricks. It is the stuff of Angels. Everyone knows that! They don’t teach you that stuff in Nursing. She started laughing. I said seriously. She said Well now that you are in here Mr. Angel Andy, you can stay for 5 minutes but you have to go. Nobody is supposed to be up here. Make sure you leave after 5 minutes. I waved my cookie in the air and said Ok, 5 minutes it is. She started laughing looked down at my friend and said you are lucky lady. My angel is probably fat and eats fruit cake. Then walks out of the room.

My friend looks at me then it hits her. Ohhhhh you are Andy. My friend. I said yeah girl. You told me to come here. I left the gym and came straight here. how are you doing? You look uhhhh pretty. She said shut up! and laughed. She said I am doing better now. They said I have to have surgery in the morning, but they won’t let me do surgery unless I get the Covid Vax first. She said I refused to get it! I don’t want that stuff in my body! You have to help me! I think they are they are waiting for me to fall asleep so they can give it to me anyway. I said I can try. Then friend said Some Angel you are. you know what Yoda would say? I said oh here we go now. she laughs and says, there is no try, there is do and do not. Then she grabbed a hold of my t-shirt and said You have to help me. I am serious! I need surgery and I don’t want that damn covid vax.

The next nurse comes in and looks at the chart. Then smiles, looks at me and says Hello Angel Andy and laughs. I smiled and said hello. She looks back at the chart then towards my friend and says, oh you haven’t got your covid vax yet. I took another cookie out of my pocket waved it in the air and said the other nurse took care of that, but she didn’t have a pen to sign the chart. The nurse looks at me and said Oh, Thanks! then looks at her pen and says, I actually have her pen. I must have picked up her pen. Then she grabs the chart off the end of her bed, signs off, looks at her and says You are all set for surgery in the morning young lady. You need to rest. She looks over at me and says, Mr Angel Andy, she needs to rest and you need to leave. I will give you two a minute to talk but not a second longer. I said no worries. we understand. thank you. The nurse smiles and walks out of the room. My friend looks at me and says, ohhh my God! Are you sure you are not a real Angel? I smiled, laughed, shrugged and said I don’t know, maybe! She says thank you so much. You are a life saver. I said the nurse is right, you need to rest, and I kissed her on the forehead. I pulled out my last cookie and said, Last one! Do you want it? She laughed like a little girl and says, noooooo, you might need it to get out of here safely. I laughed and said call me after you get out of surgery tomorrow. She says I will thank you again Angel. I said Andy. She laughed like a little girl and said Angel Andy.

The next day she called me when she woke up after surgery and said Oh my God, I had a wild dream you came in and visited me, you were eating cookies, and I grabbed your crotch. I laughed and said that wasn’t a dream. I was there. That happened. She said then I didn’t get the Vaccine! I said not while I was there! She told me they said I got it while your Angel Andy was here. I said they didn’t give it to you. They just thought they did. She said I remember that. Thank you. I don’t want to get that stuff in me. I have a bad feeling about it. I don’t even think that vaccine works. It does something else to you. I said Well you didn’t get it. So you are okay. I said how you feeling. She said I feel much better and that is a huge relief. Its going to take a few days to recover. Thank you for being there for me. I said you bet. I am happy you are okay and on the mend.

Oreo Cookies and Jedi mind tricks, the stuff of Angels.